Every Thought I had During the 95th Oscars Ceremony

Despite being a resident night owl, catching the Academy Awards in real time as a Brit has always been a mean feat. Clocking in just before 4 AM this year, and only one can of Coke on hold, I had my work cut out for me. Returning host Jimmy Kimmel was quickly criticised for quipping a few too many jokes at the five Irish nominees, as well as dissing Babylon for being a box office flop. However, his jests were no match for the truly hilarious Twitter reactions by film fans throughout the award-giving. From IndieWire’s funniest live tweeter David Ehrlich, to British artist (and director of Best Animated Short Film 2023) Charlie Mackesy posting Instagrammable scribbles from the toilets midshow, this is truly social media’s biggest ‘night out’. So without further ado, here are 40 thoughts I had during the 95th Oscars ceremony: 

1. Paul Mescal’s mum being perfectly positioned behind Michelle Yeoh is great for reactions and I hope the camera keeps cutting to them! 
2. Surely this is already too many Will Smith jokes at a show so infamous for snubbing Black actors and directors, particularly this year.  
3. My parents are never going to make it through 4 hours of this. PLUS ADVERTS.  
4. I’m crying before Ke Huy Quan has even started his acceptance speech. 
5. “Mum, I won an Oscar!” Not a dry eye in the house.  
6. Jamie Lee gave a nice spiel but was that REALLY an Oscar-worthy performance, compared to her fellow nominees?
7. All the Beauty and the Bloodshed and Fire of Love deserve ALL the praise, rewatches and more. Spellbinding documentaries.  
8. David Byrne doesn’t need to sing in tune so long as he’s dancing robotically and/or wearing sausage fingers. 

9. My parents just gave up and went to bed.  
10. How ironic that not-in-character Paul Dano is an extremely comforting presence.  
11. Adverts and any boring moments are superseded by a chance to relive that awkward Hugh Grant red carpet interview, linked here.
12. Colin Farrell blowing a kiss to Jenny the donkey who was actually onstage is so valid. May she avenge EO’s loss in Best International Feature. 

13. No clue what happens in Top Gun: Maverick but every uncomfortable Lady Gaga performance at the Oscars culminates to way more emotion than Tom Cruise could ever elicit. Apart from maybe in Magnolia (1999). 
14. Hurray for more Hugh Grant… who just cracked a joke that is literally the first audible audience laugh. We’re over halfway through.  
15. All Quiet on the Western Front winning production design over both Babylon and Elvis just seems so wildly wrong??? 
16. As long as Babylon wins for Original Score! 
17. …Oh. But what about all those fantastic trumpets? 
18. Someone gotta go up and slap that Cocaine Bear right now. 
19. Why can’t Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh just host the whole shindig.  
20. Triangle of Sadness didn’t win Best Original Screenplay but will remain my winner for “most inappropriate film to put on at the family function”. I loved it! 
21. Women Talking!!!!! That win (Adapted Screenplay) just brought the energy back into my soul at 3 AM sharp.  
22. And RRR’s Naatu Naatu got Best Song!!! That’s brilliant.  
23. Looks like they left Charlbi Dean out of In Memoriam…the wonderful Triangle of Sadness star who died in August at the age of 32. Pretty shameful. 

24. Feels like the Best Director could really go to anyone right now … apart from a woman, of course! 
25. “We want to dedicate this to all the mommies of the world.” Daniel Scheinert is great. 
26. The lengthy trajectory of people Daniel Kwan just thanked is so moving, yet funny: “My incredible brothers and sisters, who helped me survive the chaos of childhood.”
27. You know Bong Joon-ho gave the most iconic Best Director speech when you still have flashbacks from it three years later. 
28. If we don’t see anything for TÁR very soon, I have a funny feeling we won’t be seeing a new Todd Field movie for a couple of decades. 
29. The Whale wasn’t the most enjoyable film I’ve ever seen, but Brendan Fraser sure seems to have a whale-sized heart and who doesn’t love to see his emotional wins? 
30. A lot of whale metaphors in this speech too, actually.  
31. Ana girl you were great in Blonde
32. It’s Michelle Yeoh’s night and we’re all just witnessing it. 
33. Seeing the only two women of colour to win in 95 years embracing onstage sums up how bittersweet this night usually feels. Nearly 100 years of not being recognised— we can only hope things drastically improve from here. 
34. Absolutely zilch for The Banshees of Inisherin? Or Elvis? Or my sweet sweet Fabelmans? 
35. Ke Huy Quan back onstage is exactly what I needed right now. And running immediately to hug Harrison Ford, who he starred alongside (as a child) in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984). Really sweet scenes happening here. 

36. SANDRA OH!!!! 
37. The epic “In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you” quote really had to be said at some point.  
38. Just reading that Everything Everywhere All at Once has won more above-the-line Oscars than any film ever. With three acting wins, Best Director and Best Picture!  
39. Seeing an ensemble cast all stood up there, and all so emotional, is the most joyous part of this final nomination. 
40. Still thinking Aftersun should have swept. 

So, it turned out to be a historic win for Asian-American representation tonight. An immigrant drama disguised as a multiverse genre-bending film broke several records and stereotypes and tropes that Asian actors have long been subjected to by Hollywood. It seems apt to leave you with something 94-year-old James Hong — one of the most prolific Asian-American character actors of all time — said at the recent Guild Awards. “Guys with eyes taped up like this and they talk like this because the producer said the Asians were not good enough and they are not box office… But look at us now.” Here’s hoping Everything Everywhere All at Once will be re-released in cinemas as a result, so we can all view it as the Daniels duo intended.